"The three date rule"

Last night was my third date with a guy that I've been seeing. We met at a party recently so it really was the whole "getting to know you" type of situation. First date was drinks at the pub. Second date, coffee.

Third date? Movie at home. And that would lead to...

You see, when it comes to actually dating, there's this rule.  "The three date rule". That is dictating that a person shouldn't have sex until at least the third date, with the fear of appearing too "loose" to the other person.

And while the idea of being "too loose" as a woman is a pretty outdated construct from the patriarchal expectations of female sexuality, the "three date rule" still exists as a concept.

The three date rule may be holding off having sex on the third date, but for me, it's even kissing. Like if you're trying to date me, you definitely will not have been the randomer that I got with in the club on Saturday night. Those are what I'd like to call "ego kisses". 

When it comes to sex, I am a self diagnosed prude. I understand the whole "virginity is a social construct" thing. Yet when it comes to my own body, my boundaries are about as tight as a woman from the Victorian times. I've come to accept these boundaries as much as I am able, but this does mean that for me, the three date rule is a rule to do with kidding and certainly no further.

I was chatting to Meals before the impromptu date, discussing about whether I'd decide to sleep with him. Obviously this was a no for reasons stated previously, but when it comes to a kiss? I could be persuaded.

Every girl knows about the three date rule. Whether you follow it or not makes no difference to the value of you love life, really. But rather, it's a rule I've heard whilst watching Sex and the City or Friends. Now we are reaching our 20s, beginning to date like adults rather than school crushes, we have decide whether we want to follow it?

I suppose this is the whole "dating like an adult" thing is something that most people go through at some point. I just didn't realise that, not even at 20, I would be trying to navigate the dating sphere and all of it's rules so early on.

I suppose it really shouldn't matter whether you end up taking on this advice that seems to have walked straight out of Carrie Bradshaw's advice column and into every woman's mind, but for me I seem to follow the advice unknowingly.

If I am dating you, I probably won't know if I even like you until the 2nd or 3rd date. That is, if you're lucky enough to make it to one of them.

And that would be because (a) finding red flags on a date is apparently my favourite game and (b) I usually don't trust people enough to go on another date.

But anyways, therapy sessions can be arranged for another time...

The point is, the three date rule (at least when it comes to kissing) seems to be working for me and I think I should stick to it for now, at least.

And for anybody wondering, my third date went very well.